Attention Secret Agents

If you have received a link to this message, it is because you have been deemed a secret agent that is needed for an upcoming mission.  

The Mission:

Provide baby Keeter with the love, support and Christian example he/she needs to become all God has designed them to be.

Because you are loved by us, we invite you to join with us in this journey to encourage baby Keeter in their life's path.  We are so thankful God has put you in our lives.  You are irreplaceable, and we are so glad our children also have the opportunity of getting to have you in their lives.

We challenge you, over Wesley's and Baby Keeter's lives, to be engaged.  Let them get to know you.  Encourage and support them in the Lord in only the way that you can.

Please accept this mission.

And now, for the special, top secret, classified information released just today....

Baby Keeter

Is a healthy baby....

With 10 fingers and 10 toes...

and....

It's a BOY!

Week 27

Today marks week 27... the end of my second trimester and the beginning of the third.  As I write, I have headphones straddled around my belly tuned in to Pandora classical music.  Baby boy Keeter seems to really like this, as in the last week the most recent development is full belly movements.  Matt and I both get to laughing when, what we can only imagine, is this little guy doing sommersaults to some stringed melody.

Also a recent addition, I think the baby stretches and all the sudden I feel him pushing in a certain spot.  I find this to be sometimes the most uncomfortable feeling... like being poked from the inside, and he seems to find real tender spots to do that. (As I'm typing he's doing this to my right side at the headphone... ouch!)

He hasn't officially found my ribs yet as his new toy, but I think sometimes his head comes right up to the base of my ribs and that's not exactly comfortable either.  I find in several of these circumstances I am playing defense, trying to ward of the next sneak attack by rubbing my sides or pushing down on an area he's pushing out on.

Last Thursday, I was having more Braxton Hicks than usual, and the doctor wanted me to come into the office right away.  As it turns out, I was a bit dehydrated, but I've been more aware of these contractions.  Today, I felt like my abs were really tight, and I began rubbing my lower abs.  Then my belly poked me back.  I stopped and just laughed... I think it was the baby saying- that's no contraction, that's my back- I'm a low rider and leave me alone.  He's a funny baby.

We're 3 months and 1 day away from d-day. I'm feeling a little claustrophobic in my own body, and have a hard time believing there are still 3 months to this journey. I haven't slept through an entire night in at least 3 months, but every night I haven't given up hope that maybe tonight's the night.

We're closer to narrowing in on a name, but I'm having commitment fears.  We've narrowed first name options down to 7, but no idea when that list will be truncated even further.  We still have 3 months, but I am looking forward to calling him something other than baby, Ghoukas or Poogie.  Praying God will give me peace about what to brand this child with for ALLL HIS LIFE... no pressure.

Well that's it for now- I'm crashing.. and who knows maybe tonight's the night I'll sleep all the way through...

24 Weeks

School is done, and we're still waiting for life to slow down.  Weekend before last we had a whirl wind trip to Arkansas for Matt's 10 year high school reunion.  It was hard to believe it was my first trip up there since Christmas, but so good to spend some time with family, however brief it was.  This past weekend we took a trip to Dallas and went to Naz Nite at Six Flags and then spent the night with our friends, the Young's.  I didn't have many options for rides, so I did sneak onto Yosemite Sam's Gold Mine float ride and the swings, but otherwise got in some good walking and enjoyed the great company of great friends.

This week the baby is supposedly a little over a pound and the lungs are warming up for breathing.  Otherwise, its all about growing... brain is still developing, white blood cells are kicking into action, and I do believe he has the hiccups on occasion.  I can't really tell, but ever so often his movements get rhythmic for 4 or 5 times... perhaps he just has more rhythm than his mom.

It's really hard to believe we're 24 weeks along, and the newest development this week is Braxton Hick's contractions. I've now had 3 or 4. I always wanted rock hard abs... It is the weirdest feeling- the first time I was just sitting on the couch and resting. The second time was last night... Matt and I came up pretty quickly on the toll road on an accident emergency crews were just responding to. I think that one might have been stress related, and then I had one or two more last night, and think they were just set off my that previous one. I do have a doctor's appointment coming up this week, so I'll make sure it's nothing more than what I'm supposed to be experiencing, but according to everything my apps are saying and what I'm reading online- we're in the clear.


Yesterday was also quite the milestone- Matt and I had our 6th wedding anniversary.  We're so blessed to have each other.  Last night I just looked across the table and reminisced about all we had done together... getting each other through school, moving 4 times, and now- having a baby.  The rough times, the good times, and thinking this is my life.  My world is right here with him.  I'm so lucky to have this man in my life, and to be loved like he loves me.  I've never loved something or someone so much.  Just knowing we're finite and someday there will be a goodbye (100 years from now) will always bring me to tears. (That's even before all these hormones set in). I love him.

Matt's doing well at work.  I'm so proud of him.  We both get up for work together and have breakfast in the morning together.  It's a new welcomed addition to my routine.

I'm still working and trying to keep up with my former pace.  I do have the luxury of a comfortable recliner in my office which has been awesome for my swollen tailbone and ankles that swell on occasion.  My co-workers are all so very sweet to me and pop by on occasion to offer to grab things for me or help in any way.  I'm pretty independent, but I do recognize the blessing it is to have such sweet people that care about you.

To close out my update, I'll share the latest food craving- white cream gravy- goes best on french fries from Braum's and milk shakes.  Milk shakes seem to help the burning lava that is heart burn, and they just taste good!  I still really can't do chicken in any type of large quanity.  Oh how I hate chicken right now... yuck!

The Keeter Express- a quick catch up on what's been going on.

I apologize that I haven't given a good update in a little while- it has been a little busy, and thus, there's a lot to catch everyone up on.  We'll start with the most recent news-

I'm twenty weeks this week!  That officially marks the half way point.  In some sense it feels unreal that this experience is half way over, and in others, I think back to when we first found out, and it feels so long ago.  According to various apps the baby is now the size of a banana, and is developing a sense of taste.  Thus my food choices become a little more important to make sure this baby likes veggies, fruits and tex mex.

Also- we can openly use pronouns!  He's a he!  I'm so thrilled to know I'll be the momma of a little boy.  Ever since I found out we were pregnant, I just knew it was a boy.  But I wanted to be careful, just in case it was a little girl, so no one would think I was disappointed or anything.  When I had my little scare at the ER, the ER doc and sonographer strongly hinted that it was a boy, but I wanted to wait until I had Matt with me to officially hear those words "Its a boy"!

We had our sonogram on Friday after we got back from our Babymoon.  The sonographer and we got to laughing a couple times with how much this baby is on the move.  He's a wiggler for sure.  That was until the sonographer got a picture of everything except the profile of our baby's face.  That's when he burrowed his face into the crook of his arm, facing my spine and wouldn't budge.  The sonographer took a break and gave me 10 minutes to march, dance, do jumping jacks, and would retry.  We retried, and there he was, same position!  She had me roll to both sides twice and then finally she seemed to gasp and took a ton of pictures.

That's him sucking his thumb.  We also found another picture where he might have been making an obscene gesture at the sonographer, so we'll have to talk about that when he get's here...

We also had a terrific time on our Babymoon!  We went to Secrets Capri in the Riviera Maya after flying in to Cancun.  We were there for 7 nights, and it was just wonderful getting to spend that kind of quality time with Matt, since these last two years have been quite busy with school.  Matt and I got in, spent the next day at the resort, and then the next day took the Tulum Extreme Tour.  We got to start off by visiting some Mayan ruins at Tulum, and then we headed into the jungle, where Matt zip lined, we both rappelled, and then got to snorkel in a cenote.  Its like a cave with cold clear water.  It was awesome!  We then went back to the hotel. 

We spent Saturday and Sunday lounging and in the pool, and Monday we went on a snorkeling excursion.  It was soooo fun!  We started off on a white sandy beach, flippers and all.  Our guide took us out over the grass beds and towards the reef.  This is an awesome place because sea turtles come in to feed.  Matt and I saw 4 or so on our way out, and boy are they cute!  We also saw a parrot fish, and lots of other friendly fish that can swim right up to look you straight in the eye.  About half way through I started to feel the rock of each wave.  The tour guide said not to worry if I threw up, it would be a great fish attraction.  I didn't want to be the attraction, so me and the secondary guide began to head back.  I told Matt to continue with the group, so he didn't miss anything on my account.  On our way back, Moses showed me the biggest sea turtle I had seen yet, and I swam right over him.  Then we saw a sting ray... it was like my own private showing!!  I got back to the beach, but being out of the water didn't stop the rocking I felt.  It took a while for my stomach to settle.  We then loaded back into the van and headed to three more cenotes to snorkel.  The water was beautiful, clear and COLD!  It wasn't comfortable going in, but after I got out my whole body felt refreshed.

I will say it was in Mexico that I saw for the first time my skin move with the baby's kicks.  It's been so fun.  And Matt got to feel it for the first time too down there.  Such a fun and special time!

I'll try to post some babymoon pictures later!

Oh and last, but not least, I graduated!  After two years going every Tuesday night, with only 1-2 week breaks between semesters it's almost all over.  I have one more presentation next Tuesday, and then I will officially be Amanda Keeter, MBA, MTB(Mom to Be).

Feeling Good

We're now wrapping up 16 weeks, and all are doing well and healthy. I did have an excellent run of not being sick, and only threw up once this last week.  I'm branching back into the world of the carnivores, and while meat as a solo main dish still isn't settling, I have worked up to meatball subs... so long as I split the meat balls in half.

This weekend I've been making sure to take it easy, and spent even most of Saturday in my PJ's watching TV and movies.  A little bit of a different story from the weekend before.

Matt was visiting Mom and Dad Keeter for the past week, enjoying the 4th of July festivities with our large extended family.  I do struggle with nightmares while he is away, but I was doing really well.  I was kind waiting for the shoe to drop, as generally its when he goes for a trip that I usually have some sort of notable event... my worst week of morning sickness while he was in Pensacola, and before that, two years ago I had severe neurological side effects from a medication.  But as of Saturday, I was feeling good and... unbelievably motivated.

I got up, and being freshly out from sickness, I thought I would start getting back into a work out routine, so I picked out my pilates video and did 10 minutes of abs and 10 minutes of flexibility.  I then proceeded to clean the house for a couple of hours, took a little nap, and then headed off to the grocery store.  I got home, and settled in for the night.  Unfortunately - the other shoe began to drop, and I noticed something that concerned me.  I called the nurse line, and they patched me in with Labor and Delivery, who recommended I head in to the ER.  I called Matt to let him know what was going on, and then called my best friend, who drove over.  I also called my other best friend, who is now an MD, and she also recommended I head in, just to get things checked out.

Ashley and I headed to the Scott & White ER.  It was a bit of a traumatic experience, and I had to get fitted with an IV (which has left a bruise that is still visible).  The ER doc had a couple of concerns so they called in a sonographer, who was on call.  She got there 55 minutes later.  She did a great job looking at everything, and by the end of the night I got to see the baby sucking its thumb, and moving around.  It was special, since the last time I saw it, it was 1.5 cm.  Both the ER doc and sonographer made references to the sex of the baby, so that was also fun to learn, sad as I was that Matt wasn't there with me.

At the end of it, I left with a diagnosis of "threatened miscarriage", and saw my doctor two days later who told me to continue to take it easy, but considered it more of a flukey one time thing.

Matt got home midnight Sunday night, and brought home the crib and changing table.  All three were a light for me, especially Matt.  I really missed him, and needless to say, we've both discussed that he's not going on any more solo trips without me.

We're so glad God is watching over me and the baby... can't believe it will just be 23 more weeks (plus or minus) until we get to meet this little one.

Love to all-

Mandy

Dreams of Pregnancy

There are fair warnings that you'll have crazy dreams when you are pregnant, and whenever my husband is away, they seem to take on a whole new level of ridiculous.  For example- in a recent dream apparently the baby had escaped and was traveling internally down my leg.  I could feel it moving while it wiggled down my leg- creepy!  Somehow it then got out, and I looked down and it was the size of one of the baby's in a King Cake at Mardi Gras.  I remember thinking... this is not good.

I think that stemmed from the practice that as I'm laying down on my left side, I think I feel the baby "thumping" me ever so lightly.  So as I go to sleep and as I wake up I'm feeling for this.  The literature all says about by week 16 you may feel the baby... I know that's all of next Tuesday but it would be nice to have something make this feel more like pregnancy rather than months of the flu and my body aching/ ballooning.

It has been funny how on many occasions that I get up from a nap, and after seeing myself in a mirror, my immediate thought is-"you've really let yourself go."  Then I have that light bulb moment that reminds me there's a reason my belly isn't what it was.  But it is comical to me how many times I do forget it, and it is a little bit of a shocker when I catch my reflection.

The baby is supposedly 4 inches long from crown to rump, and the size of a naval orange.  I'm sensing the lack of real estate in my abdomen.  After eating I have to do those side stretches from the 80's music vidoes to feel like everything fits.

I hope to get a picture soon posted.  I keep thinking about it after I'm in pj's and I always swore I'd never be one of those gals who took a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror... (don't know why that matters, but I guess we all pick the things we'll be wierd about).

Saltines... the snack of champions

Two steps forward and one step back...

I took last week's meat eating success as a green light, and tried to quickly return to my former pace of life.  Not so quickly!  This week has certainly been better for Morning, Afternoon and Evening sickness... its more now like immediate sporadic sickness, and the gag reflex is a little less quick on the draw, but doesn't let me forget it's still there.  Thankfully Lucky Charms get me through the morning, oranges, saltines and water get me through the work day, and my sweet husband has dinner for me at night.

The big change this week is how my body must be shifting, cause I just hurt.   I've been walking for two days with a limp because my hip got torqued funny when I was sleeping.  The two days of limping plus sitting in my desk added up to a pretty painful backache.  It hurt so bad I almost got sick as I drove home from work yesterday.  At 9:30 at night I just had to talk with my best friend Ashley to see if she could use her amazing massage skills to see if this was a muscular issue or a kidney.  She is the BEST, and saw me late that night, and it did turn out that my whole left side and some parts of my right side of my back was just in complete knots.  I'm so lucky to have such a sweet husband that would drive me over, and such a sweet friend who would do what she could to help.  It did help immesurably, and I hope to go back to see her soon for a full on massage so I can feel good in what is "supposed to be" the "good trimester".

PS- if anyone needs an amazing massage, Ashley has her own studio!

Surprise!

This weekend I took Friday off and surprised Matt with a fun day.  Without him knowing, I packed an overnight bag and loaded the car.  We grabbed Dusty, and Matt thought the three of us were going to go do something.  Before we got too far down the road we dropped Dusty off at Grandma's and headed down into Austin.

Unknown to Matt, I was working in tandem with our great friend Mallory from college, and she was surprising her husband with a birthday celebration in San Antonio, and we were meeting them there.  Unfortuntately, they were running late, so I needed a stall tactic.

Matt and I stopped for the food trucks on South Congress.

I had a mighty cone

(baby wasn't a big fan)

and Matt got a shrimp po-boy.  It was so hot outside, so we quickly got back in the car and on the road.

Apparently when you're expecting you're supposed to stop every hour of a trip and walk around for about 10 minutes, so we stopped at Buc-ees just south of New Braunsfels. 

Now that's a gas station!

We got down to San Antonio around 3:15, and I tried to take a short nap.  We then devised a plan to meet up at the pool at 4:15.  Matt and Adam were so surprised!

After swimming, we cleaned up and went to the Riverwalk. On the way there I got some insight as to what's to come...

1,2,3... JUMP!

Adam, Little Kaden, and Matt

We walked the entire Riverwalk

and then watched the Razorbacks in the College World Series from our hotel room.  In trying to walk to bed, I hobbled like a grandma... my hips are doing something all their own.

The next day we started with breakfast, a walk through the Alamo, and then we went to Sea World! 

We had so much fun watching Shamu, and getting to play with Adam and Mal's two kids. 

We left at 9:30 and made it home by 11:30.  It was a great trip!

Wrapping up week 13

This week I welcomed the second trimester, and man o man do I feel a difference.  It wasn't so much over night, but it started with the thought... "I think I could eat a Junior Burger from Sonic".  From there, I progressed to a BLT at lunch the next day, and this weekend even took two bites of cheese enchiladas.  Its been a good while since I've gotten sick, and I've even been able to ride in the passenger seat without getting car sick.  It may not sound like much, but for me it's huge!

Speaking of things that are big... things are progressing here at the homefront.

Here I am one day shy of 14 weeks!



The biggest change since becoming pregnant outside of food woes, and I think Matt will agree, is my laizze-faire attitude.  I used to passionately care about so much.  Currently, in a milder sense than Rhett Butler, "I just don't give a darn!" 

Dinner- whatever is in the fridge. 

There's nothing in the fridge- let's call and see what Grandma's got.   

House has gone about 3 week since a vacumming.

My hedges look like something wooley out of a Dr. Seuss cartoon.

Papers are getting written the day before they're due... 

My response... I don't care... :)

God is Faithful

"Momma" at 12 Weeks



The name of this post is God is Faithful, because even though I have been so sick during this pregnancy, God has provided.

This week really was tough to survive.  I stayed home sick from work Monday, went home Tuesday, and worked from home after throwing up at the office, and the next day I threw up twice at the office, but stuck it out, because ...well... there's work to do.  In all of this, I've had caring family, friends and coworkers showing me such love.  Facebook posts and messages, texts, calls and prayers.  I want to thank them all for being real friends to me while I've at points just gotten down right discouraged.  Nausea has a funny way of at points making you question whether you can even go on like this.  That's when you really need the love and support of friends, and to each of you- I am so thankful.

I gave a shout out to my friends Phyllis, Katie, Julie and Becca last time.  I was really running low on clothes I could wear, and these girls met my point of need.  I also know Sarah and Amanda have a few more items for me.  God has blessed me abundantly more than I could think or ask (as it's said in Eph 3:20).  Between these ladies, I should have a FULL closet and every need met.

I also got a text this weekend from Matt's Aunt Ramona who was out busy hitting the garage sales.  She found this crib that converts to a toddler bed and baby changing station all for $100.

My parents were so great to keep my crib for me, but now hearing about how a "drop side" crib can be dangerous, we were having some anxiety about what modifications we would need to make to it, to make it safe.  I also didn't even think I was going to get a changing table, but just get a dresser and put one of those changing pads on top of it.  This nursery might actually look like it belongs to a baby!

Thanks, Aunt Ramona!

I think the part that just really shows how God is faithful relates to what I called in my last post of "some complications" I had.  Namely, that I've had endometriosis for many years, and have even had to have a laproscopy for corrective surgery.  In February of 2008, I went in to have my surgery and while under, the doctor discovered that my ovary had flipped and was attached by scar tissue to the wall of my body cavity.  She was able to detach it, and flip it back, but especially over the last two years I've felt the scar tissue growing back there on my left side again.  Even my new doctor said he could feel scar tissue the size of an egg beginning to grow, and that if I were to come off birth control, Matt and I would need to try right away to conceive.

So it was a bit of a shock when we thought it would take months to get pregnant and it happened right away.  It was even more of a shock during our first ultrasound when the doctor located the ovary that produced the egg.  It was the one I had corrective surgery on.  What a miracle for us, and just another testament to God's faithfulness.  We just know God has a plan for this child's life, and I feel at peace about the road ahead, because He is with me on it.

Top 10 FAQ

Its been a long time since our last "Family Post", but that's because much of the blog would read... Matt's almost done with school, Mandy's busy with work and school... and not much else.  But Wham Bam and thank you mam, 8 weeks and one day ago we got something to write about.  The Keeter Klan is about to Expand.

Yesterday marked 12 weeks along, and word is officially out.  We're having a baby!
In preparation of some of time's most honored pregnancy questions, I'll go ahead and try to answer what some of you may be thinking:

1. When are we Due?

December 25, 2012. Merry Christmas!

2. The "It's about Time" Statement
 Some were beginning to think we were holding out, having been married 5 and a half years.  Others question whether our little gift was a surprise.  I will say that we had been preparing for a baby for about a month, but due to my previous "complications", we really thought it would take some time.  So I rationalized in my head, that if it would take long, let's start trying while I'm in school so I'm not consumed by it.  Needless to say, first times the charm, and now what consumes me is homework and nausea.

3.  Have you been Experiencing any Sickness?
YES.  It all started around week 6 and 4 days.  It really hasn't stopped since then.  There's been a good day here and there, but wouldn't you know we're closing out on the first trimester, and so far week 12 has been the worst.  Already I've gotten sick every day this week, twice today at the office.  I'm comforted by friends on Facebook and sweet co-workers, but there is little relief.  I put in a call today at the doctors office to see about finally taking something.

4.  Any Food Cravings?
I've gotten very picky about what I'm eating... its been since May 25th since I've really eaten any meat.  I think the baby's a vegetarian.  Usually, when its the roughest, I can still manage to eat a Taco Bell Tostada or Bean Burrito with no onions.  When I'm feeling better, I like strawberry banana smoothies and get this... ketchup!  Not together, I mean, but I often find myself wanting to order fries or fried okra just for a taste of the Heinz.

5. Boy or Girl?
We'll really be so happy either way.  From what I know from some reading I did, I get the sense that it might be a boy.  I'd love to have a girl, cause I really enjoy the relationship I have with my mom, but a boy might get me out of playing catch with Matt as a better substitute.

We will find out the sex of the Baby.  Originally it was going to be August 8th, but with my graduation the week before, and all our family in, I called this morning to see if we could push the appointment back to the Friday before.  With a little sweet talk, that's just what I did and we'll be "surprised" on August 3rd.

6. Names?
I always feel a bit shocked when people ask about whether we've thought about names.  I'm still getting used to the fact my new name is Momma, much less what to call someone else.  Luckily I'll find out the baby's sex the day before I graduate, so my hopes really are to focus on and complete school, and then turn my full attention to the growing development at hand.


7. Am I Showing Yet?
I feel like I've been showing since week 7 or so.  I'm currently in what used to be my "big" pants, and they may work for one more week or so.  Some have questioned if there's just one in there.  With all this sickness I sometimes do too, but so far, heart beat and sonogram show one taking up residence.

Also, now is a great time to shout out to Abby, Phyllis, Katie, Julie and Becca for filling my closet up maternity style.  I was really hurting for something to wear, but Abby helped me come and box my things up, and now it looks like a whole new wardrobe.  Thanks for the loaners!

8. Any Other Side Effects?
I do get tired often.  I try to take lunches at my Grandmas, so I can take a quick nap during my lunch hour.  I've also got a half hour break at 3 that I sometimes try to sneak in a cat nap.
I definitely have "pregnancy brain".  I think sometimes Matt's surprised at the lack of thought process that now occurs. 

I even caught myself a day ago thinking about going ahead and having a gender reveal and graduation party the same day as my graduation.  I had an entire conversation about it with a friend.  It wasn't until the next day that I realized that my appointment, at that time, to find out the sex of the baby was the following week.  Sheesh.

9.  Well pregnancy brain strikes again, and I can't think of two other questions to answer.  If you post something below, we'll count that and I'll answer those.

10.

30 Days

For a while I've been realizing that school has really distracted me from all that is healthy and fit.  Its been lurking in the back of my mind, and with the health issues my dad has, I know I am going to have to be more diligent than the normal human being if I don't want to start falling apart at my mid 50s.

But more than just physical, I also know I want to grow and push myself spiritually.  In these days when time seems so limited its like I have to give up one of these activities for the other, and meanwhile my body may feel great and  yet I act so "carnal", or vice versa I may feel empowered by the Spirit, but be falling asleep at 10AM, 2-4PM and again at 7PM.

A year ago in March I began what is called the 30 day shred.  It lasted for 54 days.... meaning I did the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred for 54 days straight.  I had never felt as good as my body did then, and since falling off that wagon, I've had the hopes of getting back on.

Also, years ago, early in college I used to sell Advocare products.  I really believed in their quality, but after being labled by friends as the "local friendly neighborhood drug dealer", I decided I didn't really want to be remembered with that mantra.

So recently, a co-worker became an advisor for Advocare, and I began to think of my desires of getting back to a place of health that I enjoyed.  That, partnered with one of my best friends from OKC moving in with Matt and I and wanting to work out together, I decided to take on the 30 day challenge once again... this time with the aid of good nutrition and a buddy system!

Yesterday I did my first work out and purchased some MNS vitamins and Catalyst supplements.  Today I took my first vitamin pack and I still have energy to feel like I can run... and what do you know its smack dab time for my mid morning lull.  We'll see how this afternoon goes, but I'm feeling really great about getting my body where it needs to be.

On the other front, Matt and I are participating in a home group now, and we're doing a study over the book by Francis Chan- Crazy Love.  Today I read half of our readings.  It was about luke warm Christians.  Its not about what you are not- the focus is on what you are and the opportunities we have today to express our love for God.  I felt very challenged, and on the way to work I heard my current favorite song by City Harmonic.  Its wonderful to start the day with such movement in your soul!

Here's to what I hope to be a great 30 day focus on getting me back to all I should be, in spite of everything I should "do".

Half Dome- Here we come

Early June, we will be heading to our annual hike in Yosemite.  This year's challenge- THE HALF DOME (dome  dome dome (echoing)).  We are down to about 4 weeks out, and its time to get even more serious about training for this great feat.

To start, I (Amanda) signed myself up for my very first 5K, which was about 3 weeks ago now.  That event I signed up for about 5 weeks out, and little by little I went from barely able to jog 1 mile, to a slow run for all three miles.  Plus this 5K had obstacles, so it was an amazing accomplishment!

Now I'm still able to run 3 miles 2 times per week, and today I added in a trial session of a boot camp.  My friend from elementary- Jon has started his own MASH boot camp, and it was so much fun today.  Not only did it give a great cardio work out, but I got in some muscle work through lunges, sprints, planks, burpies and more!  His 4 week class is priced right, and I would LOVE to do it, but right now we're just limited on spending money on really anything.  So its now up to me to get this body into shape.

Monday I'm starting my effort with my first diet.  Its the seven day diet, and is rich in healthy food, so I shouldn't go hungry!  Add in to that an effort to work out each morning I can't wait to see where I'm at as I check in this time next week.  Wish me luck- its training time!!

Closing this book....

I realize I haven't posted in a while, been busy actually keeping up with blogging about school and the wonderful experience that is grad school. I started this blog enamored by one Matt's cousin did, but she has kids to write about, and when I made this about "the Keeters" then it felt awkward to write on behalf of two people.

I'm contemplating a personal blog, but haven't determined just what that will look like. All I know is I'm commiting to writing in first person. I think it must be about something, otherwise it becomes just a bit too "Dear Diaryish", but that first means I need to pick a direction I want to pursue in all that I have going on... I'll keep contemplating on that, but until then... or perhaps until we have kids or actually something worth writing home about, I'm going to put this book back on the shelf.

Thinking of Connie

Its funny how often I go between my more personal posts. I look back and see in August, I was hoping for life to hurry up and pass me by... and here, in October the sentiments remain. Sometimes I want to make sure my life has counted for something so much... that I cram every experience I find benficial in. So far what hasn't killed me has made me stronger... but Matt would say that my personality type sees it that way. However, 3 years ago I had a boss who reminded me to "enjoy the journey". Recently I've been spending time once a month with a new friend, Teri Hill, and she encouraged the same. It would be such a waste to fill life with experiences if they didn't have any meaning. If I didn't have time to process them, and find the lessons to be learned, to better prepare for tomorrow, but more importantly- to enjoy today.

My memory haunts me, and I've been thinking a lot about Connie lately. I think this is one event in my life that I'm trying to really take apart... to understand it's significance. Having met Connie over the phone because she was interested in helping at the Children's Home, we ended up meeting for lunch twice. Then it was 9 something at night when I got a call on my cell phone. I answered, and she shared she was at the movies with her husband and son. Her son hadn't been told the news yet, but Connie, in her early 40s, Connie, running 3 miles a day... Connie felt she had no one to turn to, and called me to tell the news she got that day - pancreatic cancer.

Several years ago I had a time in life where you ask those questions of why. I was the one student who was dropped from the intern program, with it went my funding for school. At the same time my dad was receiving diagnosis after diagnosis, all begining when I left from home. I felt in some way that the timing had something to do with why he was sick. To make up for the loss of funding, I graduate from college a year early, missing out on the fun with my friends of a senior year. Matt and I got married, and as we landed in Miami from our honeymoon, I called my mom to tell her we were back. It was in the Miami Airport that I found out my mom had found a lump three weeks before the wedding, and it was breast cancer. Meanwhile I lived 6 hours away in OKC, feeling paralized to help my parents. I remember the long drives in the car when all is silent, and I poured out my heart to God. I wondered what good comes from illness, and why this happened to my devout family, who had done so much to live right, even though we never had it easy. I couldn't see what good could come from this. There were days you had to put on the smile, because everyone was so busy in their normal lives, and I craved what it was like to have normal circumstances.

Today, I can't say it all makes sense. But I now have a gratitude for my experience. I would have never had a clue of what the depths can feel like. I never would have known to be so grateful for health, for life, and another day to live for what we take as normal. I try to live each day in love, so that if there's that one person who is going through that valley, and putting on the face, perhaps I can meet that person and meet them face to face in whatever their circumstance. I want to be hope.

I used to have aspirations for leadership, and those visions were about me. I have days that I get sidetracked, but I hope my life is about love. I hope its about lifting others up, and I can't help but wonder- did that come across to Connie?

Connie and I got together often throughout her illness. I saw from a bystandars perspective how she'd. be in so much pain, on so much morphine, and the dumb waiter at Cheddars never knew and couldn't realize how important it was to serve this woman her glass of water, how important it was to cater to her needs. I didn't desserve to be brought so closely to her inner circle, but she let me. I remember the call in early December. I could barely make out that it was Connie's voice, but she needed me. Matt and I jumped in the car. as we got stuck at a light, and Ambulance whizzed by, and I knew we were heading to the same place. Matt waited in the car, as I went in. As the paramedics worked on Connie, she was in such agony and I held her hand. I prayed by her side. She thought she was going to die, and she called me. They took her in the ambulance and I got her things, locked her house, and called her husband to meet us at the hospital. They finally let me back into her room to be with her. She couldn't get comfortable, and I'll never forget that feeling. She just moaned, she ached. There was no relief in sight, and the doctors would come in, state the obvious " you have pancreatic cancer, and it's one of the most painful cancers, and it's only going to get worse. There's nothing we can do, you should have called hospice". I'm not a violent person, but I could have jumped out of my chair as she writhed in pain. Instead, I got up. She had given up on Chemo, so what little hair had grown in, I began to play with and gentle touched her head, her hair, and she said it felt so good. Randy made it to the hospital. I brought him up to speed, and knew I needed to leave to make a work function in a few hours. That was the last time I saw Connie. For the first time in my life, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt- it's a see you later, and for the first time I fully felt heaven was real.

So as I'm determining what direction my life will take, I have to reconcile this experience to my worldview. Did it matter at that moment my leadership skills? No. What mattered is that I loved.



I think that's all I can do for tonight.

Hurry up and pass me by

This year has been one of sorts... For Matt it seems that school can't go quick enough, but with two mini-semesters in the Summer, 4 weeks I'm sure felt like eternity to fit in all the school work. I'm so proud of the dedication he's shown, working from morning until midnight or so on school papers and projects. I know I may be biased, but the commitment Matt shows to getting the job done right, even while in school- well I know any school district would benefit from his partnership.

And so the school saga stretches to now include my world. This past Wednesday was the orientation for the MBA program. I'm feeling more and more comfortable, but am ready to get this journey started. Life will have to change, and I'll have to learn how to commit less, which is the part of leadership I think that isn't talked up much, but a strength to know if you have any plans for longevity in a role. We start up in two weeks, and I'm doing what I can to get prepared. I hope this weekend to do my back to school supply shopping. I don't remember the last time I was this excited to pick out a binder and dividers.

I'm stepping into school on an act of Faith, prompted by the question of "What next?" This year has been filled with levels of success and contentment. I really do love my job. I love my role with my organization, and so I find the question of what next for me professionally doesn't apply too much, because my ambitions of someday working for "the children's home" have been met a bit ahead of schedule. But I am not the person to find contentment in just having met my goals. I need to grow, I need to plan and do more with my time and tallent. I feel it's part of the expectation of living life on purpose and being responsible for the life and time I'm given. So expanding my business knowledge is what I've decided to pursue. I don't know where I'll be when Matt and I do decide to start a family, or where my career here at CAHM will take me, so until then, I'll live by the scout motto- Be prepared.

Last night Matt's great-grandfather passed away. After the last couple of weeks it seems like there has been more than regular accounts of people's passing. A fellow Chaparral and friend of mine lost her eight year old son after suffering a seizure and drowned in his bath. A contact of the children's home was a young man, about my age, who suffered an anurism while working out. He later died. A three year old in my friend's neighborhood was bitten by a rattlesnake twice and died two days ago. I'm seeing too much of death's shadow fall on friends, and it makes me anxious to think how quickly the everyday picture of life can change. Sure many people have a lot of years to live with their spouse, but everyday I'm thanking God I have another with Matt. Its intense to live life with this overshaddowing thought, but it also helps with perspective... to live through love and learning more and more to be empathetic.

Meanwhile, work is feeling more and more like I'm batter's up for a baseball game. Who knows what type of pitch you will get next, but it's all going very quickly. I'm working on some 60th anniversary events, and as life would have it, I'm not seeing that things are going according to plan. I'm at the point mentally where I found myself almost 3 years ago in Istanbul, Turkey, and I say to this bull of chaos- I'm taking you by the horns and you no longer control the situation. I feel very responsible for these events and will do all I can to provide a wonderful outcome for CAHM. Next week has my name all over it, and I will be satisfied with my progress by next weekend.

For now, the I'm in the investigation and waiting to build the sure foundation for where I'll build the progress of next week. And I'll fill my time with the occassional project like creating a children's art work exhibit for the Round Rock Area Arts Council and introducing Debbie to State Rep Diana Moldonado so we can serve homeless single mother veterans and their children, when they return from war. While its amazing to participate in each of these meaningful activities, I'm balancing a need to immediately drop everything to go up to Arkansas for Grandpa Abner's funeral, the prework for my MBA, and everything just makes me wonder how much harder is this going to get to keep family first, and get everything done not just to code or standard, but so that I am proud of my work.

Time will tell, but I tell you, I look forward to November.
November, I will have made it through Yellowstone, hopefully having had trained well and not been eaten by a bear.
November- Ascend program will have completed the day retreat, and we will be on our way as young professionals making a difference in our community.
November, I will have completed a successful dinner and music and arts festival for the community.
November, I will have completed the fall grant writing
November, I will have been in my MBA for 3 months and balance this life transition of returning to school...
November, my birthday will come, and hopefully I will have birthday money to get some new clothes or a nicely used dyson vaccum.

So time- I tell you- hurry up and pass me by- I'm looking forward to November.

Chicago it is!

Writen by Mandy-
This year is just ridiculously awesome... perhaps I am not building up vacation time, but I feel like I am finally living with all the options for travel! We planned to hike again this fall, this time in Yellowstone, but thanks to Matt's parents, we got to go on a beautiful and economic trip to Pensacola and now the opportunity to join them in Chicago! Love it! I visited Chicago when I was a Freshmen in College, and there are a couple of places I'm hoping to get back to. I'm really excited that this time I'll be inside Wrigley Field to see the Cardinals take on the Cubs.I lost my pictures from freshmen year when my computer crashed, so I look forward to documenting this trip!

Pack in the travels!

This last week was spent in Florida at Pensacola Beach with Matt's Mom, Dad, sister and her boyfriend. Unlike our first visit, this trip did not include a tropical storm, rescuing men from the sea, sharks or mandatory evacuations due to an impending hurricane. Rather the days were spent lazily moving from our 8th floor condo to the white sandy beaches to the green clear waves back to the sand... eat... back to the sand... and intermittenly bouts of beach baseball and paddle ball. Two nights were spent chasing crabs with nets. Over all an incredible vacation of rest and relaxation.

Heading out, we drove Friday as long as we could and finally pulled off the highway in Covington, LA. I think the last time Matt and I checked into a hotel by ourselves was just after our wedding, and all the funny feelings of asking for one room with one bed came back... so scandelous after 3 years of marriage...

Saturday we had breakfast and finished the drive in, having the condo mostly to ourselves until Matt's family arrived that evening.

Matt was so good to "take care of his family" by getting us both SPF 90 sunscreen. It's amazing I got any sun at all, but I do give him kuddos as I was in the minority of those who did not get burned.

Matt got to play golf twice with his dad. Matt said he didn't play as well as he'd like one day, and his dad reportedly played pretty well... funny enough they shared the same score.

Thankfully the oil spill had not affected the pristine beaches of Pensacola Beach. However, we were able to witness a lot of the marine life, which I attribute to possibly looking for cleaner waters? We often saw families of Porpoises jumping in the water and slapping their tails. We also learned what cowrays (sp?) are... as they invaded our swimming area. It was great watching them, but made for paranoid swimming.

Our drive home was Sunday... 12 hours! We stopped in Baton Rouge Downtown and ate at Lucy's. Their Brunch was pretty awesome and made us both want to nap. Matt went down for two hours while I took turns with each eye getting an extended blink... eventually my California Eggs Benedict lost it's power and we crossed into Texas, just in time for Matt to take on Houston!

Determined not to miss the final episode of LOST, I called Ashely to DVR the episode and ordered a pizza to meet us at her house (She had been watching Dusty. Thanks Ash!) Got to her place nearly 12 hours after leaving the beach, and after watching LOST we got home at 11:30, and fell in bed at midnight!

It was a great vacation- thanks to Matt's family for making it such a wonderful trip!

Now the question- Chicago or not to catch the cards play the cubs!?!

Honored

Its amazing what a week can contain... 7 days...168 hours. As I sit here in close to another Tuesday I think back about where I was one week ago. Sitting at the Round Rock Chamber Banquet, and had invited my parents to come because Matt had to be in class. I was anticipating this evening. Just a year before I set out to accomplish a goal, and throughout the year worked so hard to attain it. I came to the chamber in May of 08. At the 08 banquet I saw that one of my fellow Ambassadors won Ambassador of the year. It was then and there that I wanted to re-establish the Children's Home (Now Children At Heart Ministries) in writing in front of 500 or so people. What a way to establish my credibility with the local business community? I knew then and there that I wanted to work hard and represent the children and families we serve throughout the year and hopefully at the 09 Banquet. For several months I had won Ambassador of the Month and by the end of the year I sealed my goal. As the Banquet went on last Tuesday my heart was racing, not because I knew I finally had come full circle, but sitting beside me were my parents. The ones who introduced me to the children's home. These are the ones who taught me to care for others. Certainly I could not go up and get an award without saying anything. Maybe it wasn't my most classy move to have Charley cut the music, but it was what was right. This wasn't about me, its about their investment. Tuesday night was about them, and I'm glad I shared the moment with them.

As the night progressed I looked forward to my friend's dad's award. Big Boy Hester was going to receive the Lifetime Award, and he didn't know it. I kept sneaking glances over at their table as the night progresses, and we were only one or two recipients away from his special night. The pride on Tamara's face was so great to watch. Well the next thing I know I'm hearing that someone is getting an award and this person seems to be doing alot of the things I've been doing. By the time it hits me, I look over at Mr. B who had it figured out long before. I'm not sure of exactly what all Hollis said, but I'm sure it was nice. I just tried to compose myself and make it to the stage to receive Outstanding Member of the Year.

I can't begin to explain the honor that it is to receive some sort of award like this. Especially when you do what you love. Its already my honor to work in the role I do. So for a week I've just been feeling like I'm on a cloud.

Today brought me back. I understand that it's nice to receive awards for doing your job, but what matters really falls to the type of person you are... what kind of friend you'll be... which leads me to share about the other experience that's been going on and honors me today.

Not quite a year ago I met Connie. Connie is a representative from Callaway, and drove by our campus every day, not really knowing what we do. She got online and found our golf marathon, and wanted to connect Callaway to our mission. We had a couple of lunch dates, and Callaway was so gracious and generous. I couldn't thank them more. I remember it was about 9pm one night and I saw I was getting a call from Callway. I thought to not work at home, but my business is people, my friends, so even though we had only gone to lunch a couple of times I answered the call.

Hi Connie


Hey

What's going on, Connie?

Silence

Connie, what's up? Is everything Ok?

No.

My heart stopped.

Connie, a beautiful woman I only wish I could be as fit as, proceeds to tell me that today she got a diagnosis. Pancreatic cancer at 43. She's called me from the movie theater. Her newly wedded husband and son (untold of this news) remained in the theater, but she couln't force herself go through the motions. Only Randy, she and I had this news (other than the doctors), and as we finsihed our call my heart sank with my new friend, and I had only a small sense of the responsbility I felt in my friendship to Connie.

Today we had lunch- it was at "our spot" (Cheddars). I've grown accustomed to our frank honesty and find it refreshing. Today I made sure she had something in place to let me know when she dies. We've talked about her funeral, what will happen to her body after to get her to her final resting place. Our times together leave me with a feeling I've never experienced before. Well today as I drove away I had that feeling of when you get on a roller coaster, and realize there's no getting off it. Anywho. They've now done everything they can, nothing slows its progress. She shared that tonight was going to be the first night that hospice comes by the house. The doctor has given her 2-4 months, and the ridiculous thing is if you look at Connie, you'd NEVER know. I've seen her bald, but by the looks of things, and with the help of a wig she's quickly transported into the everyday. Part of me wanted to tell our waitress to be extra careful and attentive today, since she wouldn't know the pain Connie is in. I didn't because I didn't want to call attention to Connie, but it made me mad later when she asked for some extra salad dressing and we went 3/4 through our meal before she ever returned to check on us.

Well Connie and I have become friends. I know about her marriage, her boys... her three young men who are struggling so much with this. And Connie, everytime we get together, sure she may vent a little about how this is her last Halloween, or she won't get to see the next Golf Marathon or miss her son's wedding, but what she worries most about are how her husband and boys are reacting to this. And what I'm left wondering is... who am I to desserve her time, her attention, hearing her fears and hopes. I'm just a development officer, and God's allowing me to serve. Am I big enough for the role?

I certainly don't have the answers, but I can be her friend, and that is more of an honor than any beautiful glass trophy. Again, I am inlove with my job to allow me to be a friend to those who come in my path. While I hope that they may be able to do something for the single mothers, the children or other families, I know that these partnerships have the potential for running much deeper, and it is my honor to serve in this role.

Woooo Pig Birthday!

This past weekend we drove to Arkansas to celebrate Matt's birthday- the big TWO FIVE! Being a month apart in birthdays, I was able to work out some of my stresses about turning mid way through my twenties. I did so by calling Matt an old man, half way to 50 and made various other remarks generally reserved for someone officially climbing over a hill. I think it helped!

We got up early Saturday morning and made the 45 minute drive to Fayetteville... Hog Country! Intending to "breakfast" tailgate, we had to wolf down our cinnamon rolls and slurp down the chocolate milk, because of course, we had been running late.

We met up with Matt's Aunt Iris, Uncle Ken, Cousins Ryan, Kendra, Jeff, Alex, Amber and her husband Matt, as well as Aunt Ramona and Aunt Barbie. I can say when it comes to Matt we are in no shortage of family members.

The hogs were less than decent in their playing, but I know Matt enjoyed this birthday wish!

We ate at some restaurant famous for chicken. I intended to order chicken fried chicken, but received chicken fried steak... I'd like to ask why they even have steak so such a confusion could even occur. Needless to say, ever since, I have been desperately craving chicken wings from Pluckers (Ranch, Lemon Pepper and Mild are my favorite flavors!).

After coming back toVan Buren, we visited Matt's grandma, and other side of the family.

No birthday party or cake was had, but Jonathan, Matt's best and longest friend surprised us by driving in all the way from Colorado!

I think Matt really had a great birthday!