God is Faithful

"Momma" at 12 Weeks



The name of this post is God is Faithful, because even though I have been so sick during this pregnancy, God has provided.

This week really was tough to survive.  I stayed home sick from work Monday, went home Tuesday, and worked from home after throwing up at the office, and the next day I threw up twice at the office, but stuck it out, because ...well... there's work to do.  In all of this, I've had caring family, friends and coworkers showing me such love.  Facebook posts and messages, texts, calls and prayers.  I want to thank them all for being real friends to me while I've at points just gotten down right discouraged.  Nausea has a funny way of at points making you question whether you can even go on like this.  That's when you really need the love and support of friends, and to each of you- I am so thankful.

I gave a shout out to my friends Phyllis, Katie, Julie and Becca last time.  I was really running low on clothes I could wear, and these girls met my point of need.  I also know Sarah and Amanda have a few more items for me.  God has blessed me abundantly more than I could think or ask (as it's said in Eph 3:20).  Between these ladies, I should have a FULL closet and every need met.

I also got a text this weekend from Matt's Aunt Ramona who was out busy hitting the garage sales.  She found this crib that converts to a toddler bed and baby changing station all for $100.

My parents were so great to keep my crib for me, but now hearing about how a "drop side" crib can be dangerous, we were having some anxiety about what modifications we would need to make to it, to make it safe.  I also didn't even think I was going to get a changing table, but just get a dresser and put one of those changing pads on top of it.  This nursery might actually look like it belongs to a baby!

Thanks, Aunt Ramona!

I think the part that just really shows how God is faithful relates to what I called in my last post of "some complications" I had.  Namely, that I've had endometriosis for many years, and have even had to have a laproscopy for corrective surgery.  In February of 2008, I went in to have my surgery and while under, the doctor discovered that my ovary had flipped and was attached by scar tissue to the wall of my body cavity.  She was able to detach it, and flip it back, but especially over the last two years I've felt the scar tissue growing back there on my left side again.  Even my new doctor said he could feel scar tissue the size of an egg beginning to grow, and that if I were to come off birth control, Matt and I would need to try right away to conceive.

So it was a bit of a shock when we thought it would take months to get pregnant and it happened right away.  It was even more of a shock during our first ultrasound when the doctor located the ovary that produced the egg.  It was the one I had corrective surgery on.  What a miracle for us, and just another testament to God's faithfulness.  We just know God has a plan for this child's life, and I feel at peace about the road ahead, because He is with me on it.

Top 10 FAQ

Its been a long time since our last "Family Post", but that's because much of the blog would read... Matt's almost done with school, Mandy's busy with work and school... and not much else.  But Wham Bam and thank you mam, 8 weeks and one day ago we got something to write about.  The Keeter Klan is about to Expand.

Yesterday marked 12 weeks along, and word is officially out.  We're having a baby!
In preparation of some of time's most honored pregnancy questions, I'll go ahead and try to answer what some of you may be thinking:

1. When are we Due?

December 25, 2012. Merry Christmas!

2. The "It's about Time" Statement
 Some were beginning to think we were holding out, having been married 5 and a half years.  Others question whether our little gift was a surprise.  I will say that we had been preparing for a baby for about a month, but due to my previous "complications", we really thought it would take some time.  So I rationalized in my head, that if it would take long, let's start trying while I'm in school so I'm not consumed by it.  Needless to say, first times the charm, and now what consumes me is homework and nausea.

3.  Have you been Experiencing any Sickness?
YES.  It all started around week 6 and 4 days.  It really hasn't stopped since then.  There's been a good day here and there, but wouldn't you know we're closing out on the first trimester, and so far week 12 has been the worst.  Already I've gotten sick every day this week, twice today at the office.  I'm comforted by friends on Facebook and sweet co-workers, but there is little relief.  I put in a call today at the doctors office to see about finally taking something.

4.  Any Food Cravings?
I've gotten very picky about what I'm eating... its been since May 25th since I've really eaten any meat.  I think the baby's a vegetarian.  Usually, when its the roughest, I can still manage to eat a Taco Bell Tostada or Bean Burrito with no onions.  When I'm feeling better, I like strawberry banana smoothies and get this... ketchup!  Not together, I mean, but I often find myself wanting to order fries or fried okra just for a taste of the Heinz.

5. Boy or Girl?
We'll really be so happy either way.  From what I know from some reading I did, I get the sense that it might be a boy.  I'd love to have a girl, cause I really enjoy the relationship I have with my mom, but a boy might get me out of playing catch with Matt as a better substitute.

We will find out the sex of the Baby.  Originally it was going to be August 8th, but with my graduation the week before, and all our family in, I called this morning to see if we could push the appointment back to the Friday before.  With a little sweet talk, that's just what I did and we'll be "surprised" on August 3rd.

6. Names?
I always feel a bit shocked when people ask about whether we've thought about names.  I'm still getting used to the fact my new name is Momma, much less what to call someone else.  Luckily I'll find out the baby's sex the day before I graduate, so my hopes really are to focus on and complete school, and then turn my full attention to the growing development at hand.


7. Am I Showing Yet?
I feel like I've been showing since week 7 or so.  I'm currently in what used to be my "big" pants, and they may work for one more week or so.  Some have questioned if there's just one in there.  With all this sickness I sometimes do too, but so far, heart beat and sonogram show one taking up residence.

Also, now is a great time to shout out to Abby, Phyllis, Katie, Julie and Becca for filling my closet up maternity style.  I was really hurting for something to wear, but Abby helped me come and box my things up, and now it looks like a whole new wardrobe.  Thanks for the loaners!

8. Any Other Side Effects?
I do get tired often.  I try to take lunches at my Grandmas, so I can take a quick nap during my lunch hour.  I've also got a half hour break at 3 that I sometimes try to sneak in a cat nap.
I definitely have "pregnancy brain".  I think sometimes Matt's surprised at the lack of thought process that now occurs. 

I even caught myself a day ago thinking about going ahead and having a gender reveal and graduation party the same day as my graduation.  I had an entire conversation about it with a friend.  It wasn't until the next day that I realized that my appointment, at that time, to find out the sex of the baby was the following week.  Sheesh.

9.  Well pregnancy brain strikes again, and I can't think of two other questions to answer.  If you post something below, we'll count that and I'll answer those.

10.

30 Days

For a while I've been realizing that school has really distracted me from all that is healthy and fit.  Its been lurking in the back of my mind, and with the health issues my dad has, I know I am going to have to be more diligent than the normal human being if I don't want to start falling apart at my mid 50s.

But more than just physical, I also know I want to grow and push myself spiritually.  In these days when time seems so limited its like I have to give up one of these activities for the other, and meanwhile my body may feel great and  yet I act so "carnal", or vice versa I may feel empowered by the Spirit, but be falling asleep at 10AM, 2-4PM and again at 7PM.

A year ago in March I began what is called the 30 day shred.  It lasted for 54 days.... meaning I did the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred for 54 days straight.  I had never felt as good as my body did then, and since falling off that wagon, I've had the hopes of getting back on.

Also, years ago, early in college I used to sell Advocare products.  I really believed in their quality, but after being labled by friends as the "local friendly neighborhood drug dealer", I decided I didn't really want to be remembered with that mantra.

So recently, a co-worker became an advisor for Advocare, and I began to think of my desires of getting back to a place of health that I enjoyed.  That, partnered with one of my best friends from OKC moving in with Matt and I and wanting to work out together, I decided to take on the 30 day challenge once again... this time with the aid of good nutrition and a buddy system!

Yesterday I did my first work out and purchased some MNS vitamins and Catalyst supplements.  Today I took my first vitamin pack and I still have energy to feel like I can run... and what do you know its smack dab time for my mid morning lull.  We'll see how this afternoon goes, but I'm feeling really great about getting my body where it needs to be.

On the other front, Matt and I are participating in a home group now, and we're doing a study over the book by Francis Chan- Crazy Love.  Today I read half of our readings.  It was about luke warm Christians.  Its not about what you are not- the focus is on what you are and the opportunities we have today to express our love for God.  I felt very challenged, and on the way to work I heard my current favorite song by City Harmonic.  Its wonderful to start the day with such movement in your soul!

Here's to what I hope to be a great 30 day focus on getting me back to all I should be, in spite of everything I should "do".

Half Dome- Here we come

Early June, we will be heading to our annual hike in Yosemite.  This year's challenge- THE HALF DOME (dome  dome dome (echoing)).  We are down to about 4 weeks out, and its time to get even more serious about training for this great feat.

To start, I (Amanda) signed myself up for my very first 5K, which was about 3 weeks ago now.  That event I signed up for about 5 weeks out, and little by little I went from barely able to jog 1 mile, to a slow run for all three miles.  Plus this 5K had obstacles, so it was an amazing accomplishment!

Now I'm still able to run 3 miles 2 times per week, and today I added in a trial session of a boot camp.  My friend from elementary- Jon has started his own MASH boot camp, and it was so much fun today.  Not only did it give a great cardio work out, but I got in some muscle work through lunges, sprints, planks, burpies and more!  His 4 week class is priced right, and I would LOVE to do it, but right now we're just limited on spending money on really anything.  So its now up to me to get this body into shape.

Monday I'm starting my effort with my first diet.  Its the seven day diet, and is rich in healthy food, so I shouldn't go hungry!  Add in to that an effort to work out each morning I can't wait to see where I'm at as I check in this time next week.  Wish me luck- its training time!!

Closing this book....

I realize I haven't posted in a while, been busy actually keeping up with blogging about school and the wonderful experience that is grad school. I started this blog enamored by one Matt's cousin did, but she has kids to write about, and when I made this about "the Keeters" then it felt awkward to write on behalf of two people.

I'm contemplating a personal blog, but haven't determined just what that will look like. All I know is I'm commiting to writing in first person. I think it must be about something, otherwise it becomes just a bit too "Dear Diaryish", but that first means I need to pick a direction I want to pursue in all that I have going on... I'll keep contemplating on that, but until then... or perhaps until we have kids or actually something worth writing home about, I'm going to put this book back on the shelf.

Thinking of Connie

Its funny how often I go between my more personal posts. I look back and see in August, I was hoping for life to hurry up and pass me by... and here, in October the sentiments remain. Sometimes I want to make sure my life has counted for something so much... that I cram every experience I find benficial in. So far what hasn't killed me has made me stronger... but Matt would say that my personality type sees it that way. However, 3 years ago I had a boss who reminded me to "enjoy the journey". Recently I've been spending time once a month with a new friend, Teri Hill, and she encouraged the same. It would be such a waste to fill life with experiences if they didn't have any meaning. If I didn't have time to process them, and find the lessons to be learned, to better prepare for tomorrow, but more importantly- to enjoy today.

My memory haunts me, and I've been thinking a lot about Connie lately. I think this is one event in my life that I'm trying to really take apart... to understand it's significance. Having met Connie over the phone because she was interested in helping at the Children's Home, we ended up meeting for lunch twice. Then it was 9 something at night when I got a call on my cell phone. I answered, and she shared she was at the movies with her husband and son. Her son hadn't been told the news yet, but Connie, in her early 40s, Connie, running 3 miles a day... Connie felt she had no one to turn to, and called me to tell the news she got that day - pancreatic cancer.

Several years ago I had a time in life where you ask those questions of why. I was the one student who was dropped from the intern program, with it went my funding for school. At the same time my dad was receiving diagnosis after diagnosis, all begining when I left from home. I felt in some way that the timing had something to do with why he was sick. To make up for the loss of funding, I graduate from college a year early, missing out on the fun with my friends of a senior year. Matt and I got married, and as we landed in Miami from our honeymoon, I called my mom to tell her we were back. It was in the Miami Airport that I found out my mom had found a lump three weeks before the wedding, and it was breast cancer. Meanwhile I lived 6 hours away in OKC, feeling paralized to help my parents. I remember the long drives in the car when all is silent, and I poured out my heart to God. I wondered what good comes from illness, and why this happened to my devout family, who had done so much to live right, even though we never had it easy. I couldn't see what good could come from this. There were days you had to put on the smile, because everyone was so busy in their normal lives, and I craved what it was like to have normal circumstances.

Today, I can't say it all makes sense. But I now have a gratitude for my experience. I would have never had a clue of what the depths can feel like. I never would have known to be so grateful for health, for life, and another day to live for what we take as normal. I try to live each day in love, so that if there's that one person who is going through that valley, and putting on the face, perhaps I can meet that person and meet them face to face in whatever their circumstance. I want to be hope.

I used to have aspirations for leadership, and those visions were about me. I have days that I get sidetracked, but I hope my life is about love. I hope its about lifting others up, and I can't help but wonder- did that come across to Connie?

Connie and I got together often throughout her illness. I saw from a bystandars perspective how she'd. be in so much pain, on so much morphine, and the dumb waiter at Cheddars never knew and couldn't realize how important it was to serve this woman her glass of water, how important it was to cater to her needs. I didn't desserve to be brought so closely to her inner circle, but she let me. I remember the call in early December. I could barely make out that it was Connie's voice, but she needed me. Matt and I jumped in the car. as we got stuck at a light, and Ambulance whizzed by, and I knew we were heading to the same place. Matt waited in the car, as I went in. As the paramedics worked on Connie, she was in such agony and I held her hand. I prayed by her side. She thought she was going to die, and she called me. They took her in the ambulance and I got her things, locked her house, and called her husband to meet us at the hospital. They finally let me back into her room to be with her. She couldn't get comfortable, and I'll never forget that feeling. She just moaned, she ached. There was no relief in sight, and the doctors would come in, state the obvious " you have pancreatic cancer, and it's one of the most painful cancers, and it's only going to get worse. There's nothing we can do, you should have called hospice". I'm not a violent person, but I could have jumped out of my chair as she writhed in pain. Instead, I got up. She had given up on Chemo, so what little hair had grown in, I began to play with and gentle touched her head, her hair, and she said it felt so good. Randy made it to the hospital. I brought him up to speed, and knew I needed to leave to make a work function in a few hours. That was the last time I saw Connie. For the first time in my life, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt- it's a see you later, and for the first time I fully felt heaven was real.

So as I'm determining what direction my life will take, I have to reconcile this experience to my worldview. Did it matter at that moment my leadership skills? No. What mattered is that I loved.



I think that's all I can do for tonight.

Hurry up and pass me by

This year has been one of sorts... For Matt it seems that school can't go quick enough, but with two mini-semesters in the Summer, 4 weeks I'm sure felt like eternity to fit in all the school work. I'm so proud of the dedication he's shown, working from morning until midnight or so on school papers and projects. I know I may be biased, but the commitment Matt shows to getting the job done right, even while in school- well I know any school district would benefit from his partnership.

And so the school saga stretches to now include my world. This past Wednesday was the orientation for the MBA program. I'm feeling more and more comfortable, but am ready to get this journey started. Life will have to change, and I'll have to learn how to commit less, which is the part of leadership I think that isn't talked up much, but a strength to know if you have any plans for longevity in a role. We start up in two weeks, and I'm doing what I can to get prepared. I hope this weekend to do my back to school supply shopping. I don't remember the last time I was this excited to pick out a binder and dividers.

I'm stepping into school on an act of Faith, prompted by the question of "What next?" This year has been filled with levels of success and contentment. I really do love my job. I love my role with my organization, and so I find the question of what next for me professionally doesn't apply too much, because my ambitions of someday working for "the children's home" have been met a bit ahead of schedule. But I am not the person to find contentment in just having met my goals. I need to grow, I need to plan and do more with my time and tallent. I feel it's part of the expectation of living life on purpose and being responsible for the life and time I'm given. So expanding my business knowledge is what I've decided to pursue. I don't know where I'll be when Matt and I do decide to start a family, or where my career here at CAHM will take me, so until then, I'll live by the scout motto- Be prepared.

Last night Matt's great-grandfather passed away. After the last couple of weeks it seems like there has been more than regular accounts of people's passing. A fellow Chaparral and friend of mine lost her eight year old son after suffering a seizure and drowned in his bath. A contact of the children's home was a young man, about my age, who suffered an anurism while working out. He later died. A three year old in my friend's neighborhood was bitten by a rattlesnake twice and died two days ago. I'm seeing too much of death's shadow fall on friends, and it makes me anxious to think how quickly the everyday picture of life can change. Sure many people have a lot of years to live with their spouse, but everyday I'm thanking God I have another with Matt. Its intense to live life with this overshaddowing thought, but it also helps with perspective... to live through love and learning more and more to be empathetic.

Meanwhile, work is feeling more and more like I'm batter's up for a baseball game. Who knows what type of pitch you will get next, but it's all going very quickly. I'm working on some 60th anniversary events, and as life would have it, I'm not seeing that things are going according to plan. I'm at the point mentally where I found myself almost 3 years ago in Istanbul, Turkey, and I say to this bull of chaos- I'm taking you by the horns and you no longer control the situation. I feel very responsible for these events and will do all I can to provide a wonderful outcome for CAHM. Next week has my name all over it, and I will be satisfied with my progress by next weekend.

For now, the I'm in the investigation and waiting to build the sure foundation for where I'll build the progress of next week. And I'll fill my time with the occassional project like creating a children's art work exhibit for the Round Rock Area Arts Council and introducing Debbie to State Rep Diana Moldonado so we can serve homeless single mother veterans and their children, when they return from war. While its amazing to participate in each of these meaningful activities, I'm balancing a need to immediately drop everything to go up to Arkansas for Grandpa Abner's funeral, the prework for my MBA, and everything just makes me wonder how much harder is this going to get to keep family first, and get everything done not just to code or standard, but so that I am proud of my work.

Time will tell, but I tell you, I look forward to November.
November, I will have made it through Yellowstone, hopefully having had trained well and not been eaten by a bear.
November- Ascend program will have completed the day retreat, and we will be on our way as young professionals making a difference in our community.
November, I will have completed a successful dinner and music and arts festival for the community.
November, I will have completed the fall grant writing
November, I will have been in my MBA for 3 months and balance this life transition of returning to school...
November, my birthday will come, and hopefully I will have birthday money to get some new clothes or a nicely used dyson vaccum.

So time- I tell you- hurry up and pass me by- I'm looking forward to November.